Not Long Now

I'm not sure it's healthy to be this excited, but I can't help it...

Britain's Got Talent

You won't find much evidence to support that statement on the TV show of that name, or on The X Factor, or any of those other godawful shows.

But on YouTube - which, as I think we can all agree, is largely filled with crap - it's occasionally possible to unearth a real gem. This, I believe, is a case in point.

Absolutely the last Testicle Game post ever*

I know, I promised I wouldn't do any more of these. But this afternoon I saw Annie Lennox on TV, and it came to me...

Eurythmics: There Must Be an Angel (Playing With My Testicle)**.

* Probably.
**Which - I guess - means I have to allow the Regina Spektor one after all. It's only fair.

It's About Time

I have a good feeling about this...

Round Two

I forgot this one*.

Queen: Sheer Testicle Attack

Talking of Queen...

*I'm not going to do any more of these, I promise.

The Testicle Game

Ignore the following unless drunk.

I invented a new game today. Think of a song with the word 'Heart' in the title. Then replace 'Heart' with 'Testicle'. Take it in turns to come up with song titles, and the winner is whoever comes up with the title that gets the biggest laugh.

To play this game, you will need the following:

Lots of alcohol. Er, that's it.

Here are a few possibilities:

Yes: Owner of a Lonely Testicle
Bonnie Tyler: Total Eclipse of the Testicle
Billy Ray Cyrus: Achy Breaky Testicle
Elvis Presley: Wooden Testicle
Blondie: Testicle of Glass

but tonight's runaway winner, by virtue of being simultaneously funny and slightly sinister:

My Testicle Belongs to Daddy

I'm really, really sorry about all of this

Diary

Whilst rooting around in a drawer this afternoon, I found the diaries I kept while I was in prison. I always had the idea at the back of mind that one day I might put them into the form of a blog. Today, I started.

Random

For no reason other than 'I like lists', here is a list of the first 10 songs I heard when I put my iPod on random earlier today.

1. Ryan* Adams - Gonna Make You Love Me
2. Michael Jackson - People Make The World Go 'Round
3. Queen - In the Lap of the Gods
4. The Tears - Fallen Idol
5. Daniel Lanois - Sometimes
6. Beatles - Paperback Writer
7. Queen - The Miracle
8. Bruce Springsteen - Downbound Train
9. Emmylou Harris - Michelangelo
10. Crowded House - Distant Sun

That's about a 90% accurate reflection of my musical tastes - not bad for 'random'.

* Ryan. Not Bryan.

Oopsy

Note to self: If you will insist on talking about people behind their back (and apparently you will), first make the effort to ensure that they are not standing behind your back at the time.