It's Fireworks Night again. Or Bonfire Night, or Guy Fawkes night. Whatever you want to call it, it's tonight. I've heard a few fireworks going off already, and no doubt I'll be hearing a lot more before the night is out.
As a kid, I used to love all that stuff. But after a while, once you've seen one fireworks display, you've seen 'em all. And when you have a dog in the house, fireworks become a real pain. Dogs in general, and ours in particular - hate fireworks. It wouldn't be quite so bad if it was only one night of the year, but it goes on for weeks. As soon as the shops start selling them, people start lighting them. Christmas starts in September, Bonfire Night starts in October.
So, uh, Happy New Year!
Friday, November 05, 2004
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Doggy Style
OK, I wasn't planning to post pics here, but it's not often Max stays still long enough to take a half-decent photo of him. So this is quite a rare event.
Max, who doesn't like fireworks, attempting to hide under my desk.
Max, who doesn't like fireworks, attempting to hide under my desk.
Books, Part 2
I just remembered one that I left off my list a couple of posts ago.
How the heck did I manage to forget that one, after everything that's happened this week?
- Stupid White Men - Michael Moore
How the heck did I manage to forget that one, after everything that's happened this week?
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Big Al Is Typing Carefully
Someone* has just brought it to my attention that, by simply typing my name a little carelessly, I could go from being Big Al to being Bi Gal.
I guess it would save a lot of painful and expensive surgery.
*OK, it was me.
I guess it would save a lot of painful and expensive surgery.
*OK, it was me.
Books
For no reason other than boredom, here is a list of books I have read so far this year. The list is, I think, complete and in chronological order, most recent first.
- A Short History of Nearly Everything - Bill Bryson
- The Hippopotamus - Stephen Fry
- Dreamcatcher - Stephen King
- The Truth - Terry Pratchett
- The Silmarillion - J.R.R. Tolkien
- Everything's Eventual - Stephen King
- Angels And Demons - Dan Brown
- The DaVinci Code - Dan Brown
- The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-Time - Mark Haddon
- Billy - Pamela Stephenson
- The Hanging Garden - Ian Rankin
- Bored Of The Rings - The Harvard Lampoon
- Waiting For Godalming - Robert Rankin
Dubya Pulls It Off
It's official, then. President Bush has been elected to a second term in office. How the hell did that happen?
The only explanation I can think of right now is a 'better-the-devil-you-know' attitude amongst the US electorate.
Maybe we're not getting the full picture, but on this side of the Atlantic Dubya is widely perceived as a buffoon. Maybe his policies are preferable to those of his opponent, John Kerry. Maybe people don't know what Kerry's policies are. Maybe Americans aren't prepared to entrust the 'war on terror' to Kerry. Maybe Bush isn't the monkey we see him as.
Or maybe, people are just scared of change.
Ho hum.
The only explanation I can think of right now is a 'better-the-devil-you-know' attitude amongst the US electorate.
Maybe we're not getting the full picture, but on this side of the Atlantic Dubya is widely perceived as a buffoon. Maybe his policies are preferable to those of his opponent, John Kerry. Maybe people don't know what Kerry's policies are. Maybe Americans aren't prepared to entrust the 'war on terror' to Kerry. Maybe Bush isn't the monkey we see him as.
Or maybe, people are just scared of change.
Ho hum.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Big Al's Second Law
Immediately following a session of physiotherapy, you will feel considerably fitter and surprisingly free from pain. Ten minutes later, and for the rest of the day, you will feel like a big old sack of shit.
I am hobbling off to bed now.
I am hobbling off to bed now.
Rocket Science For Dummies
Amazingly, quite a few people are still impressed by my job title. "Software developer," they'll say. "You must be awfully clever."
Yeah, right. What they don't know is that computers, unlike people, do exactly they're told. Mostly. You tell a computer to do something stupid, a computer will do something stupid. People, on the other hand, are perfectly capable of doing something stupid without having to be told.
The thing is, getting computers to do what you want them to do might look impressive to some folks, but as the saying goes, it's not rocket science.
All of which made me wonder - what do rocket scientists say when they want to play down the importance or difficulty of their job? "It's a great job, but it's not..."
Not what?
Or do they just say, "Well, it sure as hell beats being a software developer."
All this is basically just my way of noting that nothing of any interest happened today. Again.
Music: U2: All That You Can't Leave Behind
Yeah, right. What they don't know is that computers, unlike people, do exactly they're told. Mostly. You tell a computer to do something stupid, a computer will do something stupid. People, on the other hand, are perfectly capable of doing something stupid without having to be told.
The thing is, getting computers to do what you want them to do might look impressive to some folks, but as the saying goes, it's not rocket science.
All of which made me wonder - what do rocket scientists say when they want to play down the importance or difficulty of their job? "It's a great job, but it's not..."
Not what?
Or do they just say, "Well, it sure as hell beats being a software developer."
All this is basically just my way of noting that nothing of any interest happened today. Again.
Music: U2: All That You Can't Leave Behind
Monday, November 01, 2004
Parkinson's Law
Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.
I was first made of aware of the existence of this law in 1990, during my university days. There's definitely something in it, but it's just a little wide of the mark, in my experience.
Here then, is Big Al's Law.
Work expands to fill, and then massively exceed, the time available for its completion.
I am considering having this engraved on a plaque, which would then be placed on or near my desk.
I was first made of aware of the existence of this law in 1990, during my university days. There's definitely something in it, but it's just a little wide of the mark, in my experience.
Here then, is Big Al's Law.
Work expands to fill, and then massively exceed, the time available for its completion.
I am considering having this engraved on a plaque, which would then be placed on or near my desk.
Bye Bye Berti
At long last. Berti Vogts has finally resigned as manager of the Scotland football* team, citing 'disgraceful abuse' as the main reason for his decision. I'm not sure if this 'abuse' includes a load of Scotland fans chanting 'Berti, Berti, Get to f*ck' after the 1-1 draw with Moldova, but it's a possibility.
The truth, of course, is that Berti is jumping before he's pushed. His dismissal has been looming on the horizon like a big looming thing for quite a long time. To be fair, we can't solely blame Vogts for the shambolic state of our national squad. The pool of players currently available to him (and whoever succeeds him) are, frankly, a bunch of diddies. Even Alex Ferguson would struggle with this lot. Speaking of Ferguson, on his recent arrival back on home turf, a TV reporter asked if he was here in connection with the Scotland job. He almost fell over from laughing so hard. That'll be a 'no', then.
The question now is, who's willing to grasp the poisoned chalice? Walter Smith and Gordon Strachan are both reported to be in the frame for the Scotland job, but would either of them be mad enough to take it?
Not without a lobotomy or two, I'm guessing.
*soccer.
The truth, of course, is that Berti is jumping before he's pushed. His dismissal has been looming on the horizon like a big looming thing for quite a long time. To be fair, we can't solely blame Vogts for the shambolic state of our national squad. The pool of players currently available to him (and whoever succeeds him) are, frankly, a bunch of diddies. Even Alex Ferguson would struggle with this lot. Speaking of Ferguson, on his recent arrival back on home turf, a TV reporter asked if he was here in connection with the Scotland job. He almost fell over from laughing so hard. That'll be a 'no', then.
The question now is, who's willing to grasp the poisoned chalice? Walter Smith and Gordon Strachan are both reported to be in the frame for the Scotland job, but would either of them be mad enough to take it?
Not without a lobotomy or two, I'm guessing.
*soccer.
Sunday, October 31, 2004
Simpsons
The funniest thing I saw on TV today came, not surprisingly, from The Simpsons. It's a line spoken by a Canadian customs official, to a bunch of US customs guys.
"Take a hike, you Shatner-stealing Mexico-touchers"
Made me laugh, anyways.
"Take a hike, you Shatner-stealing Mexico-touchers"
Made me laugh, anyways.
Sixties
The UK Music Hall Of Fame reached the 60s tonight. The nominated acts were The Beach Boys, Aretha Franklin, Bob Dylan, Diana Ross & The Supremes, James Brown, Jimi Hendrix, The Kinks, The Rolling Stones, Simon and Garfunkel, and The Velvet Underground.
Tough choice. The Beatles are already in - and if the Beatles are in, the Stones should be in too. Personally, I'm trying to decide between Dylan or Simon and Garfunkel. I think Dylan probably gets the vote, but it's a tough call.
And I'd have liked to see The Byrds on the shortlist. Ah well.
Tough choice. The Beatles are already in - and if the Beatles are in, the Stones should be in too. Personally, I'm trying to decide between Dylan or Simon and Garfunkel. I think Dylan probably gets the vote, but it's a tough call.
And I'd have liked to see The Byrds on the shortlist. Ah well.
All Play And No Work
Technically, I was supposed to working round about now, but things being the way they are (specifically, me being a lazy git), it hasn't worked out that way. First, the Sunday papers distracted me. Secondly, the Plus TV channel has taken to showing Sherlock Holmes movies on Sunday afternoons. The old black-and-white ones, with Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce. I'm a sucker for those - today it was Pursuit To Algiers. Thirdly, and fatally, when I finally got around to switching the computer on to do some work, I made the mistake of logging on to check my emails. And scan through a few newsgroups. And read a blog or two. And that's what knackered it, really.
Looks like it's going to be a busy evening.
Looks like it's going to be a busy evening.
Big Al Is Very Very Drunk
In the last few hours I have learned that:
Halloween pumpkin lanterns can be made to give off a more eerie glow (not to mention foul stench) by tipping monkey-nut shells onto the flame.
No kidding, they burn like nothing you have ever seen before. Although your friendly neighbourhood bartender may become less friendly as a consequence. It's rather impressive, though.
Music: Manic Street Preachers: The Love Of Richard Nixon
Halloween pumpkin lanterns can be made to give off a more eerie glow (not to mention foul stench) by tipping monkey-nut shells onto the flame.
No kidding, they burn like nothing you have ever seen before. Although your friendly neighbourhood bartender may become less friendly as a consequence. It's rather impressive, though.
Music: Manic Street Preachers: The Love Of Richard Nixon
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Fall Back
OK, brace yourself. I spent a large part of today, Saturday, working. Yes, you did read that correctly. Working. And unsurprisingly, I achieved far more in three-and-a-half hours today than on any other day over the previous two weeks.
Unsurprising, because there were no distracting phone calls from the office, and no emails demanding to be answered. No project co-ordinators asking for 'tiny favours' - which usually grow into 'massively time-consuming tasks which must completed now, if not sooner. Or else'.
As a result, while I'm not quite in the clear yet, I think a few more hours tomorrow should be enough to get me ahead of the game. In the meantime, the pub beckons.
I had the sheer (not necessary good) luck to see part of Strictly Come Dancing this evening. This is the BBC's idea of Saturday night entertainment. Movie blockbusters? Nah. How about some quality new comedy shows? Forget it. Ballroom dancing, that's what the punters want. A bunch of minor celebs noncing around with professional dancers, and (in the case of the male celebs anyway) looking like a right load of plonkers. The whole sorry spectacle is hosted by Natasha Kaplinsky and Bruce Forsyth (easily old enough to be her grandfather) and is, frankly, more camp than a row of tents.
I've just remembered that the clocks go back tonight, meaning an extra hour in bed. Although I would much prefer an extra hour in the pub.
Unsurprising, because there were no distracting phone calls from the office, and no emails demanding to be answered. No project co-ordinators asking for 'tiny favours' - which usually grow into 'massively time-consuming tasks which must completed now, if not sooner. Or else'.
As a result, while I'm not quite in the clear yet, I think a few more hours tomorrow should be enough to get me ahead of the game. In the meantime, the pub beckons.
I had the sheer (not necessary good) luck to see part of Strictly Come Dancing this evening. This is the BBC's idea of Saturday night entertainment. Movie blockbusters? Nah. How about some quality new comedy shows? Forget it. Ballroom dancing, that's what the punters want. A bunch of minor celebs noncing around with professional dancers, and (in the case of the male celebs anyway) looking like a right load of plonkers. The whole sorry spectacle is hosted by Natasha Kaplinsky and Bruce Forsyth (easily old enough to be her grandfather) and is, frankly, more camp than a row of tents.
I've just remembered that the clocks go back tonight, meaning an extra hour in bed. Although I would much prefer an extra hour in the pub.
Big Al Plays Guitar
Yes, it's true. Not very often and not very well, but it's still true. I can bash out a few chords when the mood takes me. If I'm really feeling good, I'll sing too. However, the less said about my singing voice, the better. In my head I sing like Freddie Mercury, but the outside world hears something entirely different. I once attempted a karaoke version of Bohemian Rhapsody with three friends, but this was mysteriously thwarted when the karaoke machine suddenly developed a technical fault.
And to this day I remember my dear old dad, on hearing my rendition of Queen's Who Wants To Live Forever, asking: "Is that difficult to sing? Because it's
And to this day I remember my dear old dad, on hearing my rendition of Queen's Who Wants To Live Forever, asking: "Is that difficult to sing? Because it's
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Smells Like Rat Spirit
Has anyone ever replied to one of these?
WORK AT HOME IN UK!
Part time every day and $2000 per week guaranteed!
Job Requirements:
-2, 3 hours per day
-18 years old
-Free day time phone number
-US Residential
For additional information please feel free to contact our support manager:
=>>ICQ#208-470-671
This is automatic message , please do not reply to this message.
WORK AT HOME IN UK!
Part time every day and $2000 per week guaranteed!
Job Requirements:
-2, 3 hours per day
-18 years old
-Free day time phone number
-US Residential
For additional information please feel free to contact our support manager:
=>>ICQ#208-470-671
This is automatic message , please do not reply to this message.
Stuff
I was going through a drawer tonight, and found the box containing all the stuff that was salvaged from my car after the accident - my mum collected it, and brought it home for me. There wasn't a lot in there - a bunch of CDs and a DVD of a couple of shows I had recorded off the TV the night before the accident. I had planned to watch it during my lunchbreak at work.
The thing that amazed me was that all these disks survived completely intact. They survived an accident that mangled my car and mangled my body. And there they were, all in perfect condition. Not so much as a scratch on those notoriously fragile jewel cases.
Weird.
The thing that amazed me was that all these disks survived completely intact. They survived an accident that mangled my car and mangled my body. And there they were, all in perfect condition. Not so much as a scratch on those notoriously fragile jewel cases.
Weird.
Blog Off
One of the neatest little things on Blogger is the navbar - that small strip along the top of the screen, with the 'Next Blog' button on it. The trouble is, though, pressing this button is almost guaranteed to take you to either a debt-consolidation site, some vague porn nonsense, or - likeliest of all - a US election blog. There must be millions of them. Please can we have some sort of filter option added so that we can bypass them? I'm sure there are lots of blogs worth reading out there, but the chances of finding them amongst the dross are negligible. Shame really.
If you'e lucky enough to avoid that lot, you're doing well - but you're probably not out of the woods yet. Wander a little and you'll probably encounter the dreaded TeenBlog. This one is easy to spot; the background is, almost without exception, black. The text will typically appear in the smallest font known to mankind, usually in a bewildering array of garish colours. The use of upper and lower case letters will be arbitrary. And spelling? The aim seems to be to deliberately spell as many words incorrectly as possible. U kNo Da KyNd oF Ting. What the hell is that about? And just to make sure they piss you off, they'll often change your mouse cursor from a perfectly reasonably pointing arrow into some ridiculous cartoon that leaves a trail of pixie-dust or love-hearts in its wake. Thanks a lot, I really need that.
And another thing: To those bloggers who have a 'Welcome to my site' popup message - JUST FUCKING STOP IT, OK?
If you'e lucky enough to avoid that lot, you're doing well - but you're probably not out of the woods yet. Wander a little and you'll probably encounter the dreaded TeenBlog. This one is easy to spot; the background is, almost without exception, black. The text will typically appear in the smallest font known to mankind, usually in a bewildering array of garish colours. The use of upper and lower case letters will be arbitrary. And spelling? The aim seems to be to deliberately spell as many words incorrectly as possible. U kNo Da KyNd oF Ting. What the hell is that about? And just to make sure they piss you off, they'll often change your mouse cursor from a perfectly reasonably pointing arrow into some ridiculous cartoon that leaves a trail of pixie-dust or love-hearts in its wake. Thanks a lot, I really need that.
And another thing: To those bloggers who have a 'Welcome to my site' popup message - JUST FUCKING STOP IT, OK?
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Biting The Bullet
I decided today to tell a couple of colleagues about my current legal situation. My boss already knows, but I'd prefer word didn't get around the whole company just yet. The few people who know have been very supportive, if more than a little shocked by the whole thing. I'm really trying not to spend too much time thinking about it, and working in the afternoons at least gives me something else to concentrate on. I'm still finding it a bit tiring though; I suppose that's not surprising after months of doing almost nothing.
I don't plan to write any more about the court case in the immediate future - it's on my mind more than enough without dragging it up here into the bargain.
I don't plan to write any more about the court case in the immediate future - it's on my mind more than enough without dragging it up here into the bargain.
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