Splish splash

A handy tip for the future, should you ever find yourself using crutches and attending hydrotherapy sessions.

If you’re using a crutch (or two) to assist while getting into the pool, and the crutch (or crutches) in question (or questions) are the adjustable sort with holes along the sides… Don’t neglect to consider the possibility of the lower part of the crutch (or crutches) filling up with water.

The funny thing is, you may not notice the difference immediately afterwards. You might walk some distance with water sloshing around in there without even knowing it. Perhaps later that same day, you might go for a light aperitif* at a licenced establishment of your choice, propping your crutch (or crutches) upright against the bar. You could even walk (or stagger) home, with your waterlogged extra legs.

It’s just possible that having arrived safely home, you might decide to close a door a few feet away from you. But rather than expending the effort of walking over to the door, perhaps you’ll decide to use your crutch to close it… tilting the crutch to the horizontal, and watching in sheer drunken bewilderment as a couple of litres of water start pouring out onto the carpet. Oops, you might say. Or, What The Fffff...... Or some other word (or words) of your choice.

* Six or seven pints, say.