Gee, Al - thanks for the scoop.
I bought myself an exercise bike last week. One of those things where you pedal furiously, but don't actually go anywhere. You know, just like life in general.
The exercise bike, I figured, was ideal for someone like me. I can place the bike directly in front of the computer, and watch my favourite TV shows while exercising. After all, there's no need to let a healthy lifestyle encroach on my primary leisure pursuit.
I felt quite proud of myself on the first day, when I worked up quite a sweat, and according to the electronic readout, burnt off 300 calories. I cycled - without moving an inch - over 4km. I have no idea what 4km is in miles, but it sounds quite good.
300 calories however, I later discovered, is equivalent to a packet of peanuts. That's right, a packet of peanuts. How in the purple fuck can a packet of peanuts contain 300 calories? That's ridiculous, surely? Peanuts are insignificant little things, hence the phrase "My name as Al, and I get paid peanuts".
Dammit. Time to get pedalling. It's a good thing Heroes and Prison Break are back in a couple of weeks. It'll make this exercise nonsense a little more bearable.
2 comments:
Don't go by peanuts.
What you burned was the equivalent to MORE than one standard candy bar (260 cal.)
Doesn't that sound better?
Vigorous sex burns plenty of calories, so just be trampy and burn calories that way. You'll be much happier! ;-) (This advice brought to you by a guy who has been with his partner for 12 years, so it's not like life is a nonstop orgy... but a boy can dream!)
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