Tomorrow (actually later today) I'm installing a client system. This is something I've done loads of times before, but I've never been more nervous at the prospect. I've installed loads of systems over the last year - but there's a crucial difference here. All the systems I've installed since my return to work (in September 2006) have been done remotely - which means I send them the install files the day before the install, then I dial into their network and put all the files into the right place (hopefully).
But tomorrow (today) I actually have to show up - in person - and do more or less the same thing. Now that I've typed that out, it doesn't sound like such a big deal. But it means that if something fucks up I have to look people in the eye whilst trying to concoct my excuses. It also means having to wear a suit. And a tie. And trying not to scream out a volley of extremely rude words any time something goes a little bit wrong. And wearing a tie. And a suit. And wearing a tie. And trying not to say fuck in front of clients. And wearing a tie.
I think it's the tie thing that's bothering me the most. It's just not natural, a bit of cloth around ones neck cutting off the blood supply to ones eyeballs. I've never been comfortable wearing a tie. Or a suit, for that matter. The suit might fit, but it just doesn't fit. I think what I'm trying to say is this - anytime I dress up (and I do consider it 'dressing up') in a suit and tie, I feel a fraud. It's not me. I have no business wearing this sort of stuff. That's what "professional" people wear. You see these people strutting around the place, looking all confident in their suits - almost as if they were born in them, and it's the most natural thing in the world. But it's just not me.
A suit does not suit me. Or I don't suit a suit. It's one of the two. Or both.
This has been a wee bit ramble-y. Sorry about that. We won the pub quiz tonight, scoring 89 points out of a possible 100. That means we've won 5 times out of 12 so far this year. Scoring 963 points over 12 weeks, giving us a weekly average of 80.25. Which is impressive. But not quite impressive enough to take my mind off of having to wear a tie tomorrow (today).
Bedtime.
Don't drink out-of-date beer.
No, really. Don't.
2 comments:
Well, did it go completely wrong, or is it up and running?
It went slightly wrong, but not due to any fault of mine. No, really. I ended up remotely finishing the install from the office a few days later.
You might wonder why I didn't do the whole thing remotely. I'm wondering that too.
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