You Don't Really Care For Music, Do Ya?

Hey ho. We all knew which song was going to be #1 this Christmas. The question was, which version of Hallelujah would take the top spot. Tragically, it was X-Factor winner Alexandra slitting the throat of Leonard Cohen's classic to line the pockets of that c*** Simon Cowell.

Erm, anyways, I did my bit. I bought Jeff Buckley's version (which ended up at #2) and Leonard's version (#36), but sadly to no avail. Ah well. I guess it's a good enough song to withstand any amount of butchering.

* There's something about the Leonard Cohen video that reminds me of the Muppet Show. Just me?

Cool Stuff

1. Steam. I downloaded this last week, since when I've been wallowing in the nostalgic bliss of playing all those games that once made Friday afternoons at work so spectacularly unproductive. Doom, Doom II, Quake, Quake II, Heretic, Hexen, Hexen II. After 10 years, I finally have a computer that can do justice to the graphics of Quake II. And it looks... uh... yummy.
2. Remote. A little app for the iPod touch or iPhone, that lets you use the iPod/Phone as a remote control for iTunes. Perfect for those staying-in-bed days. Which - for me - is most days. Did I mention that I'm off work until January 12th?
3. I just noticed this - VLC Media Player's system tray icon has been given a little Santa hat. How very festive. Here's the magnified version.

This Time It's Personal

Hey, you remember that Attic Lights song "Wendy", dontcha? Y'know, that song you couldn't get out of your head for a fortnight. Imagine how much more infectious that would have been if your name actually was Wendy.

Well, quit imagining, because they've helpfully recorded 60 alternate versions of the song with 60 different names, so (almost) everyone can get a piece of the action. Anyone whose name is Adam, Alex, Amy, Andy, Becky, Ben, Billy, Boogie (?), Bowie, Charlotte, Cheryl, Chris, Claire, Danny, Davey, Emily, Emma, Gary, Gemma, Hannah, Helen, Ian, James, Jay, Jessica, Joey, John, Julie, Karen, Katie, Kevin, Laura, Lauren, Lee, Lisa, Louise, Lucy, Mark, Marky, Martin, Matthew, Michelle, Mikey, Natalie, Neil, Nicola, Paul, Peter, Plu-ey (?), Rachel, Ritchie, Robert, Romeo, Sammy, Sarah, Simon, Sophie, Stevie, Teddy or Tommy, that is.

Would it have killed them to record a Big Al version? Tsk.

Huh?

Last night was the BBC's annual fundraiser for Children in Need. Remarkably, on the night they topped last years £19 million by a further £2 million. Quite spectacular, considering that apparently no-one in the whole world has two beans to rub together.

Anyways, this year continued the tradition of giving a teaser of the upcoming Doctor Who Christmas special. Which this year turns out to be quite baffling.

Ambiance

Here's a handy little app for the iPod Touch/iPhone. It's perfect for sleepyheads like me who like to get a bit of shut-eye on the train to work. It's not easy getting to sleep on the train - too damn noisy for one thing. I'd like to meet the genius who thought it was a good idea to make mobile phones that can play music through a speaker, thereby giving people yet another new way to be annoying.

The obvious solution is to plug the earphones in and stick a bit of music on. While his usually succeeds in drowning out the outside noise, it aint easy dropping off to sleep when AC/DC are beating your eardrums to a pulp.

What you need is something that plays nice soothing sounds, something to shut out the noise around you, but not so distracting as to keep you awake. That's where Ambiance comes in. I've been using it for a while now, and have found the Stream and Waterfall settings to be particularly effective. In fact, the first time I tried Stream, i slept almost all the way to Glasgow.

Just one thing. I wouldn't recommend using it on a full bladder.

Manuelgate

Oooh, it's all got a bit messy in the Russell Brand/Jonathan Ross/Andrew Sachs fiasco, what with Brand resigning from the BBC and Ross being suspended for 12 weeks, without pay - and when you're on 16 grand a week, that stacks up. I would imagine that will be the last time either of them decide to leave rude messages on some unfortunate actor's answerphone and crack jokes about shagging his granddaugther.

IMHO, the show's producer was at fault as much, if not more than, Brand and Ross. Everyone knows they're a pair of loudmouthed eejits. So it probably wasn't a great decision on his part to give them Andrew Sachs' home phone number. On top of that, it was a recorded show, so how difficult would it have been to edit those sections out before broadcast?

And what does Mr Sachs' granddaughter, Georgina Baillie, have to say about the BBC's reaction to this matter? Well, according to Thursday's Metro:

"Me and my grandad are both really happy because it could have damaged our reputation permanently," said the 23-year-old Satanic Sluts dancer.

Uh... hello?

Attic Lights (again)

This is the song that I've listened to more than 150* times over the last 5 days. If there's such a thing as the perfect 3-minute pop song, this is the one that would get my vote.

* at last count

Attic Lights

Anyone want to take a guess as to what might be my favourite song from the Attic Lights album?

39

I managed to remember to take my camera to QPR last night. Unfortunately, I forgot the put the 2GB memory card inside it. I had been hoping to record some of last night's event for posterity. As it turned out, I managed to record about 90 seconds of the old song '39. Which, to be fair, has always been one of favourite Queen songs. Allegedly, if you count the songs on the first 4 Queen albums, '39 is the 39th track to appear. I've never been quite sad enough to check up on this. No, I haven't.

Anyhow, this a far better quality version than the one I grabbed...

Queen + Paul Rodgers, Glasgow SECC

The guy from the [Glasgow] Herald couldn't have been more wrong. "Don't expect to hear too many oldies tonight, because [they] have a new album to plug".

In a two-and-a-quarter hour set, QPR played 5 songs from their new album. The first half hour was a relentless bombardment of old favourites. Hammer to Fall, Tie Your Mother Down, Fat Bottomed Girls, Another One Bites The Dust, I Want It All, I Want To Break Free. Later on, three songs from A Night At The Opera: Love of My Life, '39, and I'm In Love With My Car. And on to A Kind of Magic, Radio Gaga, Crazy Little Thing Called Love, Bohemian Rhapsody, We Will Rock You and We Are The Champions.

Not to mention 3 songs from Paul Rodgers' back catalog... Seagull, Bad Company, and something called All Right Now.

Yeah, not too many oldies.

We Believe

OK, last one. I promise.

Runaway

While I'm on about Queen & Paul, who'd have seen this coming?

Small

Off to see Queen & Paul Rodgers tomorrow night. Their new album, The Cosmos Rocks, has been a pleasant surprise - after all, the notion of a Queen album without Freddie doesn't initially sound promising. But they've pulled it off.

Here's my favourite song from the new album - it's called "Small", which is something you wouldn't readily associate with Queen. Full of surprises.

Suspended

Oh hurrah. The rail dispute hasn't been entirely resolved, but the second 24-hour strike has been suspended. So, thank goodness, I get to turn up at the office tomorrow*. Praise be, the extra 3 hours of quality time were really starting to take their toll.

*Or later today, nitpick fans.

Strike!

Those pesky rail signalworkers are at it again. Unless there's a breakthrough in last-minute negotiations tomorrow, they'll be staging two 24-hour strikes this week. Cunningly though, the first of these begins at noon on Tuesday and ends on noon on Wednesday. The second will run from noon on Thursday until noon on Friday. Clever, eh?

Imagine the disruption if this goes ahead. I, for one, would be forced to work from home all week - which would be awful, what with having to stay in bed for an extra hour in the morning, and having to conform to the most relaxed dress code imaginable, and being home 2 hours earlier than usual in the evening. Just awful.

Citizen Firefighter

This sculpture stands just outside Central Station in Glasgow. It's a tribute to all the firefighters of Strathclyde Fire & Rescue, and takes on another significance at this time of year.

I took the photo today on my lunchbreak. As you can probably see, a few people had left flowers. There were a few more by the time I passed again on my way for the train home.

On an unrelated note, the sign above the door of the hotel in the background appears to be missing the word 'Low' at the start. Trust me, I've stayed there.

Fred

Oops. I missed your birthday. Sorry about that, Fred.

I'm still here

In case there was any doubt. It's been a long time posting, but I haven't had a whole lot to complain about. In fact, I only have one minor grievance. In fact, it's not even a grievance. It's just a little nit-pick.

Here goes.

Is it really necessary to remind us all that shampoo is "for external use only".? Aw Jeez, and I was just about to start washing my hair from the inside.

Journey's End

Without giving anything away, last night's season finale of Doctor Who was just about the best thing I've ever seen on television.

Despite the idiot continuity announcer yammering all over the top of the closing credits.

Dear Auntie

The following suggestion* has been logged with the BBC, for all the good it'll do me.

It's the series finale of Doctor Who. Just for once, at the end of the programme, it would be really nice to hear the closing music without some idiot continuity announcer yammering on over the top of it. After all, why go to the trouble and expense of a new orchestral arrangement if the viewing audience never gets a chance to hear it?

Worth a try.

* Complaint

Aaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh! He's back!

Probably the worst-kept secret in Doctor Who history. After all, they've brought back the Daleks, the Cybermen, the Master, the Sontarans, Sarah Jane Smith and K9. So I guess it was inevitable this guy would show up sooner or later.

iBlog

An experiment. I'm trying - for the first time - blogging from an iPod. Why? Well, because I can. It's more than a little fiddly, but I'm interested to see if it works. Typing on a 3-inch-wide screen is not the easiest way of blogging, I can assure you.

So wrong, it's right

I'm kinda impressed by the fact that he manages to rip off both Warren Zevon and Lynyrd Skynyrd...

Brooooooooooooooooooooce

Phew. The tickets arrived in time. Thanks for making me sweat it though, TicketMaster.

Anyway. It was another great night courtesy of Bruce and the E Street Band. The setlist was a mix of old and new, even including a few audience requests.

No room, sadly, for Thunder Road or 4th of July, Asbury Park (Sandy). We did get old favourites like Rosalita, It's Hard to Be a Saint In The City, Badlands, Adam Raised A Cain, and the obligatory blistering Born To Run.

In a two and a half hour* set, I guess you can't get all the songs in that everyone wants to hear. Eight hours might just about do it. But still, wouldn't have missed it for the world. There's a pretty good review here.

* It must be an age thing. I remember when Springsteen shows lasted 4 hours. Eeee, when I were a lad.

Dude, where's my car? And my tickets?

Only a week to go until Bruce Springsteen in Manchester. And finally, today I received confirmation from TicketMaster that my tickets have - at last - been dispatched. Tickets which I ordered in December, I might add. Talk about cutting it fine.

Anyways, can't wait. I've booked the whole of next week off work - well, why not? There has been a slight change of plan though - my friend's car, which was going to be our transport, burst into flames while his wife was driving it one day last week. Fortunately, no-one was injured. Phew.

Despair

There seems to be something about football (or soccer, if you must) that brings out the worst in people in this country.

Last night should have been a night of celebration and joyousness about a Scottish football team achieving heights unknown in recent years. But sadly a handful of alcohol-fuelled nutjobs had to go and spoil the party.

Farewell, Phantom Dan

Danny Federici
January 23, 1950 – April 17, 2008

(Q - (F + D)) + PR

Got my tickets booked for (Queen - (Freddie + Deacy)) + Paul Rodgers at the Glasgow SECC in October. So that's Queen and Springsteen within a six-month period. Not bad, huh? Now, if we can just get the Beatles back together...

Oooooh.

Does this work outside of the UK?

C-Lebrity

Once you get used to the fact that it's Queen + Paul Rodgers*, this is quite promising for the new album...



* More accurately, it's (Queen - (Freddie + Deacy) ) + Paul Rodgers.

Not Long Now

I'm not sure it's healthy to be this excited, but I can't help it...

Britain's Got Talent

You won't find much evidence to support that statement on the TV show of that name, or on The X Factor, or any of those other godawful shows.

But on YouTube - which, as I think we can all agree, is largely filled with crap - it's occasionally possible to unearth a real gem. This, I believe, is a case in point.

Absolutely the last Testicle Game post ever*

I know, I promised I wouldn't do any more of these. But this afternoon I saw Annie Lennox on TV, and it came to me...

Eurythmics: There Must Be an Angel (Playing With My Testicle)**.

* Probably.
**Which - I guess - means I have to allow the Regina Spektor one after all. It's only fair.

It's About Time

I have a good feeling about this...

Round Two

I forgot this one*.

Queen: Sheer Testicle Attack

Talking of Queen...

*I'm not going to do any more of these, I promise.

The Testicle Game

Ignore the following unless drunk.

I invented a new game today. Think of a song with the word 'Heart' in the title. Then replace 'Heart' with 'Testicle'. Take it in turns to come up with song titles, and the winner is whoever comes up with the title that gets the biggest laugh.

To play this game, you will need the following:

Lots of alcohol. Er, that's it.

Here are a few possibilities:

Yes: Owner of a Lonely Testicle
Bonnie Tyler: Total Eclipse of the Testicle
Billy Ray Cyrus: Achy Breaky Testicle
Elvis Presley: Wooden Testicle
Blondie: Testicle of Glass

but tonight's runaway winner, by virtue of being simultaneously funny and slightly sinister:

My Testicle Belongs to Daddy

I'm really, really sorry about all of this

Diary

Whilst rooting around in a drawer this afternoon, I found the diaries I kept while I was in prison. I always had the idea at the back of mind that one day I might put them into the form of a blog. Today, I started.

Random

For no reason other than 'I like lists', here is a list of the first 10 songs I heard when I put my iPod on random earlier today.

1. Ryan* Adams - Gonna Make You Love Me
2. Michael Jackson - People Make The World Go 'Round
3. Queen - In the Lap of the Gods
4. The Tears - Fallen Idol
5. Daniel Lanois - Sometimes
6. Beatles - Paperback Writer
7. Queen - The Miracle
8. Bruce Springsteen - Downbound Train
9. Emmylou Harris - Michelangelo
10. Crowded House - Distant Sun

That's about a 90% accurate reflection of my musical tastes - not bad for 'random'.

* Ryan. Not Bryan.

Oopsy

Note to self: If you will insist on talking about people behind their back (and apparently you will), first make the effort to ensure that they are not standing behind your back at the time.

Revenge

Call me twisted, but this is the funniest thing I've seen in ages.

Weekend Update

A Saturday night in the pub, and the staff outnumber the customers. It must be the end of January. Last night there were three of us sitting at the bar, and for quite a long time, that was it. A tumbleweed blowing across the floor would not have looked out of place.

Other weekend stuff... I watched the Sweeney Todd movie. Johhny Depp has moved on from his Pirates impersonation of Keith Richards, so now we get his David Bowie impersonation. Great movie though, even managing to overcome my mild aversion to musicals. I say 'mild aversion'. Generally, I'd rather plunge a fork into my left testicle than watch a musical.

And another thing. I'm sure those nice people* at HM Revenue & Customs deliberately send out their 'requests' for money at the end of the working week, in order that they will arrive on your doorstep on a Saturday morning when you can't do anything about it, such as phone them to complain. Bastards.

* Bastards. Did I say that already?

In The Red

Now, I wouldn't normally go plugging a book that I haven't even read yet. And I haven't read this one yet. I've had a quick skim through it, and my mum assures me that it's very good. But then, she thinks River City is good, so perhaps her judgment is not entirely trustworthy.

The reason I mention the book is that, well, it's not every day a book is published wherein some of the characters are real people who you actually know. In real life. Albeit with names changed to protect the innocent, or otherwise.

The book is basically the author's diary of a year spent trying to clamber down from a mountain of debt. Along the way, there are mentions of her cousin Verity and Verity's partner Stuart.

Stuart (not his real name) is in fact, one of my colleagues (and best friend) from work. And the incident recounted in the book where 'Stuart' inadvertently exposes himself to a neighbour - who just happens to be a famous Scottish rock musician* - is completely true. I am reliably informed.

* I dare not say which famous Scottish rock musician. But there aren't that many who still live in Scotland, and are still making records, and are known outside of Scotland. Feel free to take a guess at it.

I am Bell-End

I enjoyed the movie I Am Legend today. Despite the use of generally unconvincing CGI effects this was still a corking good film. Will Smith was great - outacted by a dog, but still great. There was a neat touch right at the start of the movie, by the way of the name of the doctor who claimed to have found a cure for cancer. I won't spoil it for you.

Also, take a look (and listen) at this.

Happy New Year

I hope that 2008 brings you health, happiness and anything else you might wish for yourself. But mostly, I hope it brings you - and me, and everyone else - peace.