User Error

Joy upon joy. The folks next door have bought themselves a laptop PC, meaning I'm likely to be returning to work sooner than I expected - in an unpaid tech support role. They've already phoned twice for assistance with the complicated and taxing task of, er, sending an email. Apparently the next purchase is going to be a printer; can't wait to see how that turns out.

I bought one of these t-shirts a while ago - maybe this is a good time to start wearing it again.

All Day Breakfast

Mmmmm.... All... Day... Breakfast. Was there ever a sweeter combination of three words? Well, probably. But anyway, the hotel/pub across the road has started serving this tasty dish to hungry patrons. The full works - sausages, bacon, fried egg, tomato, hash brown, beans, and tea or coffee. Well, they say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so it might as well be something artery-clogging and delicious. And just the job after a hard day's boozing.

But wait a minute, though. The All Day Breakfast is only available between 12pm and 9:30pm. So, uh, how exactly does that qualify as All-Day? Or, for that matter, breakfast?

The 200th Post Special

Fairly special, anyway.

Today went as well as I could have hoped for, and possibly better. The good news is that I have a job to go back to, pretty much as soon as I want to. Despite the length of time since I last worked there, and all the management changes, they said that based on my previous work record they'd be glad to have me back. I don't know if they got the records mixed up, but I didn't feel like arguing.

At first I'd probably only be working three days a week, as I'm still going for physio twice a week. To make things even sweeter, there's a pretty good chance of my being able to work from home, at least some of the time, which would certainly make life a lot easier. We've set a provisional (re-)start date of September 19th, so I still have a few more weeks of, er, whatever it is I've been doing for the past two months...

Gulp

Big day ahead. Tomorrow morning I'm going into the office to discuss the possibility of returning to work for the company I was with before everything went tits-up. It's quite encouraging that they're at least taking the time to see me. They've moved office since the last time I was there, and there have been a lot of personnel changes, but a few of the old team are still there. I figure this is probably my best bet for getting back into work, so fingers crossed...

Unlimited broadband, my ass

It doesn't seem like a week since I last posted anything, but dates don't lie. I've been a tad distracted of late, mainly due to a new toy I found, by the name of Camfrog. It's more addictive than heroin. And unfortunately, I have an addictive personality*, a fact borne out by a rather snotty email from my ISP**, informing me that I'm in danger of breaching their Fair Use Policy.

Furthermore, if I persist in using this software during peak times (6pm-11pm every day) they will start 'managing' my account, effectively meaning I would share bandwidth with other 'extremely heavy' users during those times, leading, almost inevitably, to a much slower connection.

So much for their claim of 'unlimited broadband'. OK, there probably was something in the small print about fair use, but hey, who reads the small print?

The good news, if you can call it that, is that I guess I now have more time for blogging. Let joy be unconfined.

* By which I mean that I become addicted easily, not that people find my personality addictive.
** I'm not going to name them. Bastards aint getting a free advert from me.

Back To School

That used to bug the crap out of me when I was a kid. School's out for summer, and only a couple of days later all the shops would be full of 'Back To School' advertising posters. Gimme a break, I would think, I've only just got away from the frickin' place, and you're telling me to go back already. The clothes shops would use them to advertise their new uniforms, and the stationers would use them to plug their latest range of, er, pencil cases and protractors*. Or perhaps advertising was merely a front for an evil ploy to crush the spirit of the young.

The schools here start again in just over a week, after the fastest six weeks I can remember. It's funny how, when you're young, six weeks can seem like an eternity, but when you reach adulthood** a summer can pass in the blink of an eye***. I still remember my surprise one when I thought the summer holiday had been cut to a measly six weeks, until it was pointed out to me that it had only ever been six weeks. It just seemed longer at the time.

* Has anyone used a protractor since leaving school?
** Which I hope to do any day now.
*** Of course, if you live in Scotland, it's quite normal for summer to pass in the blink of an eye.

Did Someone Mention...

...Werewolves?

Even if they didn't, it's still a great song, by an exceptional singer/songwriter who went way too soon.

Pants

I just had a thought (it was bound to happen sooner or later). For the best part of a year, the only major clothing decision I've had to make has been whether to wear shorts or sweat pants. Nothing else, you see, will fit over the Ilizarov. When that comes off, I'll be able to wear normal trousers again, which will make life a bit easier, particularly on those rare occasions when I decide to dress in the style of someone who hasn't just fallen off the back of the scruffy truck. I mean, there's not much point wearing a shirt and tie* with sweat pants.

Probably means I'll have to buy some new clothes, too. The only pair of jeans in my wardrobe are a size 38 waist, from my fat days. Fortunately, I don't occupy quite that much space anymore. Might hang on to them though. Well, you never know, do you?

* Not that I wear a tie all that often. Weddings and funerals is pretty much it.

Pinhead

Some good news from the orthopaedic consultant today. The x-rays of my leg are looking encouraging, and hopefully they'll be able to remove the Ilizarov in about six weeks' time. They made a bit of a start today by removing one of the pins - the one through my foot, which is the one that's been causing all the trouble lately. Quite glad to see the back of that one.

Having the pin removed wasn't painful exactly, but it was an 'interesting' experience all the same. It's somewhat alarming when someone starts wielding wirecutters in the general vicinity of your foot.

Still not as scary as the dentist though.

Orange

Had a bit of an incident at physio this afternoon. One of the exercises they have me doing involves having me lying on my back, with my leg in a harness - a bit like being in traction - and me stretching my leg out to the side, with the aim of strengthening my hip up a bit.

This afternoon, to give me something to aim for, the therapist placed a 5-litre bottle of orange juice at the point where my leg should be when stretched right out. So, I did a few of the exercises, just gently nudging the bottle each time. Then on the fifth attempt, I got slightly over-enthusiastic, knocking the bottle onto the floor. Being a plastic bottle, you might think it wouldn't break - but it hit the floor hard enough to cause it to burst. Just a small hole in the bottom of the bottle, but big enough to send orange juice all over the place. Quite embarrassing, really.

Have an appointment in the morning with the orthopaedic team. Hope they're going to have some good news about removing the Ilizarov soon - that's almost 11 months I've had it now.

Driller

Here's one I didn't expect. Pain-free dentistry. Huh? When did that start? I had my final visit to the dentist today, to have one tooth filled* and another yanked. Didn't feel a thing, not even when the novocaine wore off. The bottle of Jack Daniels I downed before I went probably helped though. Only joking, although it did cross my mind.

Even so, the dentist's drill still scares the crap out of me. Literally. I've had three dentist appointments in the last 2 weeks, and about 20 minutes before each of them, I've had to go poopoo on a fairly urgent basis. Er, you probably didn't need to know that. Sorry.

I think part of it goes back to a story I heard when I was younger about this kid who was having a tooth drilled, until the drill slipped. After which, he was having a gum drilled. Which would not, let's face it, have been pleasant.

* The x-rays showed up another one that needed work. Bastard.