After enjoying a Friday evening in Glasgow, you may come to regret your decision to cut short your part in the festivities in order to get the last train home. Seriously, don't do it. Don't even think about it. Find someone to stay with overnight (who, and how you go about this is entirely up to you). Book a hotel room, even. But for the love of God, or Buddha, or Allah, or Graham the Giant Pixie, don't get the last train.
In case you didn't know, or couldn't have guessed, the last train is full - and I mean full - of Very Drunk People. You'll know they're Very Drunk People, because even though you may have had a good few drinks yourself, this lot will still appear to be completely off their respective tits.
If you really can't avoid getting on the last train, there are a couple of things you can do to prepare yourself. Firstly, buy some earplugs. You'll need these, unless you like the idea of spending the journey listening to some very loud, very tuneless and very sweary singing.
Secondly, unless you have the name of a very good dry-cleaning service, take a large polythene sheet. You'll thank me for this piece of advice when the 25-stone guy with the mega-sized kebab and the unsteady hands decides to sit next to you. Trust me on this one.
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